HAPPY NEW YEARS!

I just know this year is going to be better for me and my family. goodbye 2011 and HELLO 2012. I am going to try and be a stronger person. I am going to try not to stress about the little things and start enjoying the little things again. I have my family with me and that's all that should matter. so ready for the new years and the change it brings......HELLO TO MY NEW LIFE. MY NEW NORMAL.

THE CALL

I should be getting it this week. Emery's heart surgery will be very soon. I don't think im ready for it. but weather i am or not ....its coming. I am going to be a complete mess. I freak out just thinking about it. i feel like i cant breath....my heart just drops. How am i going to go through another one of these? and even after this one.....there is still one more and i feel like im already dieing. I am trying to find ways to not think about it. I guess deep down i just really thought and was hoping i would have more time after the first surgery.
My daughter is so strong. I know she is and i know she is ready to fight this thing again. I.......I am not ready to see her fight for her life again......im not ready to see her sedated and not be able hear her voice and see her open her eyes for a week which seems like eternity. i hate having no control over this situation.

BEST GIFT

I am so glad that i  was able to spend the holidays with my Emery home. It is the best gift in the world. I thought we were going spend these holidays in the hospital, separated from are Layla, and while Emery would be fighting for her life. So glad they waited to do her next surgery after the holidays. My baby is home and i am the happiest mom ever! My family is together. this is THE BEST GIFT!

Merry Christmas 

Love the 

Zamora Family

PICTURE TIME

I wanted to take family pictures before Emery  has her second heart surgery next month. My oldest daughter was such a pain in the butt while taking these pictures but i am so glad the photographer was amazingly patient with her. she made her laugh,.... so she was able to get a few good ones in.

YUM...yum...FOR MY TUMMY

Today i thought since Emery will be going on 5 months on the 26th i should start her on baby cereal. I know im starting her a bit late on it, but i thought i should wait until she was a little older. I think i was more afraid thinking she couldn't handle it cause she is just so tiny and she does this thing a lot were she chokes on her spit. She had no problem eating......she is a natural. She ate 1 oz of formula mixed with the baby cereal and w/ 3oz bottle. At first she looked at me like mamma what the heck is this lol but then she loved it and finished it ALL! luckily i was able to snap a few pictures of her eating 

yum!

can you tell by the look on her face she was IN LOVE! 

BREATH IN .....BREATH OUT

Emery just went into the cath. lab about 20 min ago. It was so hard to watch her get sedated. As she was fighting back i could just feel my body inside fight too. ugh! i really just wanted to pick her up and run out. All this is so new to me. I hate not knowing what to ever expect. I always think this is the stuff you only see on TV. The way the room was set up and the way the doctors were talking to each other was so scary and nerve wrecking.
I am so sorry Emery that you have to go through this. Your whole team of doctors and nurses kept saying you are such a cute and happy baby. I am so proud to be you mommy. you are so strong and only 4 months old. i love you with all my heart. and though im not there with you in person. im always in your heart. you are my daughter...mommys never leave there children. muah!

HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME WITH THIS

Me and Emery are home from her pre op. appointment that was in LA. I had consent forms to sign so they can do a cardio cath. procedure on her on dec. 20th. Then he went through the whole procedure with me and told me all the risk that are involved. I KNOW its only 1% chance of any of those risk happening but just knowing IT CAN happen is was scares me.

I really hate this. I hate that i have no control over this and no choice but to put her through all of this. I dont think i will ever accept that my daughter has a life threatening health problem,... i will always get angry, sad, and have so many unanswered questions..... and i hate that. I hate that i will always ask why? why her? why us?. It's hard to think or even talking about her having to go through all of this. She is so little and shouldn't have to. I know all i can do is try to learn how to cope and live with this journey my family was given. I also know that god is right there guiding Emery through this every step of the way. 

so glad he is in are life!

LITTLE EMERY!

Little girl you are so loved by so many. So here we are you are 4 months old AND soooo freakin cute i must say. I love when i wake you up you are all smiles as i tell you good morning.you are learning you have a voice.You are humming a lot now. at times i think you say mum. i seriously try and get you to say mamma so hopefully that will be your first word you say but will see. You scream a lot but its cute because its always followed by a giggle. you have better hand movement, now whenever we feed you you reach your hands out to touch our face. you notice your sister a lot more now and whenever she is near you you giggle and smile. your sister is a wild one and i know she cant wait till you get big enough to be able to play with her.
your next heart surgery is in January. I know you are a tuff cookie you have showed us this since you were in my belly. growing just as big as the other baby's your age. I am just so proud to be your mother and im glad i was the lucky one to be chosen to be your mother. i love you baby

                                                        HAPPY 4 MONTH


MOMMY AND DADDY ARE  LOOKING FORWARD TO MANY MORE MONTHS AND YEARS SPENDING WITH YOU AND SEEING YOU GROW!