Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Me and Emery are home from her pre op. appointment that was in LA. I had consent forms to sign so they can do a cardio cath. procedure on her on dec. 20th. Then he went through the whole procedure with me and told me all the risk that are involved. I KNOW its only 1% chance of any of those risk happening but just knowing IT CAN happen is was scares me.
I really hate this. I hate that i have no control over this and no choice but to put her through all of this. I dont think i will ever accept that my daughter has a life threatening health problem,... i will always get angry, sad, and have so many unanswered questions..... and i hate that. I hate that i will always ask why? why her? why us?. It's hard to think or even talking about her having to go through all of this. She is so little and shouldn't have to. I know all i can do is try to learn how to cope and live with this journey my family was given. I also know that god is right there guiding Emery through this every step of the way. 
so glad he is in are life!

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